Bilingual Bloopers

Lungandan, a tribal language of Uganda, has many short affixes which give an utterance its meaning. These often string together to form long words which are difficult to read; and correct placing of word breaks is very important.  When reading a passage in church, a native who was a poor reader caused some laughter and irritation. He sounded out a few syllables, returning to the beginning and adding a bit more each time until he could read the entire phrase.  It came out: Awo Yesu which means “Then Jesus;” Awo yesuna— “Then he is pinching himself;” Awo Yesu n’abaga—”Then Jesus is chopping;” Awo Yesu n’abagamba— “Then Jesus saith unto them.” At one point, some in the congregation wondered aloud if Jesus were a butcher rather than a carpenter. What must they have thought about  why he would be pinching himself!

Just before attending BBTI, Tim was visiting western Ukraine. He had learned some Russian, and his friends there asked him what he planned to do when he returned to the US. Not knowing the word for “institute,” he used the word for “university.” He thought he was saying, “I am going to enroll in (pastupayu) a university,” but he actually said, “I am going to buy (pakupala) a university.” They were completely speechless as they processed this new information—they had a very rich American friend!

After church while we were waiting to eat, some church leaders asked me if we had corn in America. I said, “Yes, but it is not a staple food like it is here in Tanzania.” They then asked me what our staple food was. I answered that there are many different types but my favorite was shoes. They looked quite puzzled. One asked me how we cooked that. “We boil them in water until soft and then mash them with milk and butter,” I answered. (VIAYU . . . VIAZA) (shoes . . . potatoes) Their faces were blank so I added that my second favorite was lantern wicks. This time I actually used the right word because it is the same word as for spaghetti. But, because the villagers have never seen spaghetti, they had no reference but lantern wicks. Realizing their utter confusion, I corrected my mistakes. We all had a good laugh.   —Rodney

Many words in Bislama are duplicated English words. For example lukluk is look and fatfat is fat. It is easy to make the mistake of thinking this applies to the majority of words. A missionary trying hard to do things the Ni-vanuatu way told the visitors arriving at his hut to come sitsit. Unfortunately, the Bislama word for sit is sidaon; sitsit means (to put it politely) go to the bathroom. Not quite what the missionary intended!   —Vanuatu

A newly arrived missionary in Costa Rica wanted to go to the market and begin learning Spanish. He looked up how to ask the price of things in his Spanish-English dictionary and found the words for “how” and “much” to be “como” and “mucho.” Then he walked around the market pointing at things and saying, “Como mucho.” Everyone laughed because he was actually saying, “I eat much.”

While preaching in an open air market I was giving an illustration using clean water and dirty water. I held up the clean water bottle and said, “If I hit this water, it brings satisfaction.” Realizing immediately that hitting water is an expression meaning to drink hard liquor, I tried to correct myself before anyone had enough time to let it sink in—but it was too late. The crowd one by one slowly “lost it” with snickering.  —Rodney, Tanzania

A missionary preaching in Mexico City from the story of Hannah read where Hannah told her husband that she wouldn’t take the child Samuel up to the tabernacle until he was weaned. Instead of saying “destetado” (weaned), he said “destazado” (to chop up). It was even more hilarious when Elkanah responded, “Do what seemeth thee good; tarry until thou have ‘chopped’ him.”  —RLC

When our language helper, Lilee, asked me what kind of meat I like to eat, I attempted to say “kai kap muu kap NGUA” (chicken and pork and beef). But instead, I came up with ‘kai kap muu kap NGU” (chicken and pork and SNAKE)! Lilee gave me a funny look and replied in English, “Really?!” –K.R, Laos

Our language tutor was teaching us to pray in the Indonesian language. We write out our prayer for his review and then read/pray them before class begins. My wife was thanking God for his mercy, but omitted an “h” sound in the middle of the word. She thanked God for his spider webs instead! —D.C.

After dismissing his congregation, a missionary in Germany went to the back door to greet people as they left. He greeted each member with a handshake and smile and told them, “Gutten nackt.” They realized that he meant to say “Gutten nacht” meaning good night, but grinned or snickered because he had actually said good naked. The preacher was greatly embarrassed when a member at the end of the line corrected him. —Christine

A basic conversation goes something like this: Sabaidii! Jao sabaidii baww? (Hello, how are you?)

Khoi sabaidii. Jao dee? (I’m fine. [How are] you?)

Khoi sabaidii. (I’m fine.)

It’s a good thing Jon was only practicing his language skills because instead of saying,

Jao dee (How are you?), he accidentally said, Jao dai! (You die.)!

—Chris, Laos

I knew a little Spanish, so our Spanish Pastor asked me to translate his remarks to the English congregation because he was uncomfortable addressing them with his broken English.  I was dismissed from this translation assignment after the first practice run.  I would have thanked the English congregation for all of their help and chicken (pollo) rather than for their help and support (apoyo). —MW