Bilingual Bloopers

The new BIMI missionary in Japan, Ron White, was preaching about sin, or tsumi: “Tsumi are bad. Tsumi cause death. We need to get rid of our  tsumi!” But there was a big problem. He said tsuma instead of tsumi and was actually saying, “Wives are bad. Wives cause death. We need to get rid of our wives!”

After dismissing his congregation, a missionary in Germany went to the back door to greet people as they left. He greeted each member with a handshake and smile and told them, “Gutten nackt.” They realized that he meant to say “Gutten nacht” meaning good night, but grinned or snickered because he had actually said good naked. The preacher was greatly embarrassed when a member at the end of the line corrected him. —Christine

Our language tutor was teaching us to pray in the Indonesian language. We write out our prayer for his review and then read/pray them before class begins. My wife was thanking God for his mercy, but omitted an “h” sound in the middle of the word. She thanked God for his spider webs instead! —D.C.

When our language helper, Lilee, asked me what kind of meat I like to eat, I attempted to say “kai kap muu kap NGUA” (chicken and pork and beef). But instead, I came up with ‘kai kap muu kap NGU” (chicken and pork and SNAKE)! Lilee gave me a funny look and replied in English, “Really?!” –K.R, Laos

Although we had been in Laos just a short time, I thought I was making progress in learning the language. So, when our six-month old daughter needed a vaccination, I felt confident to take her to the clinic. I tried to tell the nurses that she needed a sakjaa, meaning “shot of medicine.” But I accidentally said she needed a supjaa, meaning “cigarette.” She is a little too young to start smoking! — KR

Since I could not get animal crackers for our Noah’s Ark lesson, I decided to be creative and make cutout cookies. At the store, I found what I thought was flour. The packaging read Heljedino Brašno, and I knew the word for flour was brašno so I grabbed the package and headed to the checkout. I learned the hard way that heljedino is the Croatian word for buckwheat. Let me just tell you, buckwheat sugar cookies do NOT taste good! —Sarah, Croatia

Before we learned the importance of pronouncing Thai with the proper tones, we would get into a taxi and tell the driver where we wanted to go. The drivers always did a double take and looked at us strangely. We later learned that instead of saying that our destination was Muang Ake, we were saying “knock on your head.” —Vicki

To get acquainted with people in Siberia, you invite them to your home for tea. As outer clothing is considered dirty and hot to wear inside, a host greets visitors by saying, “Come in. Take off your clothes (meaning hat, coat, gloves, and boots). Have some tea.”

A Russian English-speaking teacher/translator was hired to receive American visitors and she hospitably invited them to her home for tea. However, something got lost in her translation from Russian to English when she told them, “Come in. Get undressed. Have some tea.”

Brother Johnny Leslie, missionary to Croatia, was preaching about John the Baptist having his head cut off. He should have said odrezati but instead said narezati. Both words mean “cut,” but the congregation roared with laughter because narezati is only used when talking about slicing something like salami!

We asked our language helper for the two statements: (1) That is a shovel. (2) That is not a shovel. I felt certain he didn’t understand my instructions because the two statements sounded identical. I challenged him by confidently saying, “You are saying the same thing.” What was I doing, correcting my language helper when I knew so very little about his language? I felt so foolish when I realized that though the two statements did have identical sounds, there was a difference in the stress placed on one of the syllables. —Charlie, Ghana

The missionary’s  audience was a little perplexed as he told them the disciples were all on a “rock” in the middle of the sea.  The audience wondered why the disciples were there and how they even got there. It was even more confusing when the missionary illustrated that Jesus Christ is our “boat” that never moves.  They were curious to know how the motionless boat represented Christ.  The message was clarified when the missionary realized he had confused the word “dunga” (boat) with “dhunga” (rock).  —Justin

In Nepali culture, as in many cultures around the world, children are often a conversation piece. You often hear compliments such as kasto ramro chhori! which means, “What a GOOD girl!” given to the parents. However, an untrained foreigner who attempts to reproduce this compliment could easily offend the other parent by saying, kasto ramro chori! which means, “What a good THIEF!” —Justin